Click the image to play!

To play, Click Here (Mobile Friendly)

Why can't it work right here on Itch.io?

Sadly, itch.io does not support more than 500 files for an HTML game, so the game will not embed on this page. I set up an alternative link on my own website, so you can play it online (it's mobile friendly, too!). I also tried embedding the game right into this description page with a frame, but that does not work either.

Getting the file count to fall within ITCH.IO's accepted margin will require reworking the entire game. This is an old project from many years ago, and I don't want to put more time into it at the moment. Therefore I decided to just host it externally. 

Alternatively, you can download the zip file. Double-clicking "index.html" will start the game in your browser.

Why did you build this like a monkey with a wrench?

This is a very old project. I really used the most basic tools to create this: Photoshop and HTML. I found it on some old backup drive, blew the dust away, and despite the poor technical aspects of this thing, I still thought the humor was holding up. I had some fun with it. So I cleared out some bugs and decided to share it with the world because there's still a nice experience somewhere in there.

Truth is,  it won't matter to most people how this was actually made. It works, so hopefully you can have some fun playing it. 

How can I access the grayed-out options?

Grayed-out options are not playable at the moment. Sorry!